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there's no map, and a compass wouldn't help at all email: ferris . wheel . j @ googlemail . com
“

I would say somethinghmmm

happy with the light

but then

maybe all the fight between

those*disembodied voices

like the one’s used to be rattleboxing

in my head

real one’s somewhere clicking on this

thing

even though

this thing is meant like their thing

to share whatever*

they would go

“ah no you from that great imaginary height-

you said all that crooked tongued thisnthat”

well

maybe

but you engage me in a battle of wills

dummy

and you get bull and horns and worry enough

because

like a hunger i am an army of bad tidings

and sweet too

and either way fuck with me and with words

ill upset your tummy*

and wrap you up like a spider*

before he eats the mummy

BUT

what if i don’t feel like that

like

you don’t feel like this*

and say

i share*

because like the weather people they motivate*

themselves like a seasonal charge

and….AND
that THIS is what it means to be alive

AND SAY

if it were your job to peel your skin off

and say it like it was

eve n if it were against yourself

and be a token of crystal

like emotional news

you would

be like

me too

BUT

you pay or do not pay to see how the beasts in my heart cage growl and grow*

or*

eat the tamers

and sometimes there is blood and feats

and sometimes there are tricks and balloons

until now

because

when you were away and when i was away

and the animals went quiet

and

i let it go

i became just me

and

i always knew there were only two endings to this story

and one

one was a goodbye

and this

this is a hello

and*

i would say something,

i would say something more about myself

or being sorry

but i know

and you know

that i know

and you know

that

this was always a game

or telling a truth

too much

too hard

and

for too long

and

i did that

and

you watched

and

i broke

and

we are now here

so

i say i am now just me and all that is gone

not even tired just*

bloomed and removed

and

well

now

now i would say something nice

and

you cant get mad or get sad or wish me back or wish me upside down*

x’ed eyes or worse

because

i am just me now

and

we will have to get to know each other again

minus

all that pain

look

the light

how

pretty

RA

”
oh, nostalgia…